River Teacher: Dreams

I'm a little late in writing about last week, but things have been so busy I just haven't had a chance. Even now, it is getting to be my bedtime so I will try to make this quick. Last week was the second week of school and my birthday week! After the nice long weekend of fun, I jumped right back into the swing of things and the kids were ready. We really started to nail down a schedule, and I got through most of their literacy assessments (still need to analyze them though). The kids and I are now pretty familiar with each other and I have a better idea of what each of them is capable of and interested in. My class is full of a bunch of sweethearts.

As I mentioned before, my birthday was last Thursday. I always get depressed right before my birthday for some reason. It happens every year... I think it started when I was a teenager, maybe after I moved to Ashland and didn't have any friends for a while. After growing up in the same town my whole life and always having parties with all the same group of friends, it was hard to move away and not have friends to celebrate with. My family was wonderful, of course, but it wasn't the same. Things got better after a couple years but I think that is what started it. I never wanted to get my hopes up about my birthday being something special anymore so I would go the opposite way and just expect the worst. That way, I would always be pleasantly surprised by whatever ended up happening.

This year I had very low expectations for quite a few reasons. Two of the main ones were being in a new place with no friends super close and also that my whole family was out of town without any kind of cell or internet reception so I wouldn't be hearing from them at all. I was feeling really alone and sad. Typical birthday behavior for me... (I'd like to apologize to the friend that I loaded all my sorrow onto. I was clearly being overly dramatic.)

Anyway, I had gone to the store and gotten what treats I could find (very limited selection) to give my kids as a special treat on my birthday. I'd tried to tell people when my birthday was because I really didn't want to feel so alone so my kids and my TA knew but apparently everyone else i'd mentioned it to forgot in the midst of all the rest of the craziness. I spent the evening before baking a big Raspberry Apple Crisp (one of my favorite desserts) to share with the staff. I love baking and since I know what I like best, I really don't mind baking for myself on my bday. So I got to school in the morning and went to the office first thing to put the crisp on the staff table. When I got to my room, I found that after I had left the night before, the custodian had come in and delivered the piano. BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!! I was so darn excited that I sat down right off the bat to play a few ditties. Oh it was amazing.

That is about when the kids started to arrive. I think my TA must have encouraged this because she went all out too... She came with another apple crisp (because she'd asked about my favorite dessert) and mini cupcakes for all the kids, and a big bowl of fresh picked raspberries for me. Then the kids all started trickling in with gift bags, apples, cards, kind words, and hugs. One girl even made cupcakes for everyone in class. I couldn't believe it! Not only did I get a piano in my classroom, but I also have the most thoughtful kids ever. We had fun almost all day with special snacks, I taught them my favorite Native game (Run and Scream), and even taught some music in the afternoon.

At the end of the day, I was still in my class catching up on things as it got to be evening time. The other teachers came in and we were all chatting. They asked what kind of birthday plans I had for the evening and when I said that all I planned to do was grade some papers and work on lesson plans, the PE teacher (who is about my age) invited me to go out to dinner to celebrate. It was so kind of her and really made my night.

Then, all of a sudden, it was Friday again and we were getting ready to head into another weekend. I had plans to go up to my sister/friend's house for dinner and games so I took off after work and headed that direction. I stopped along the way to visit another friend who also just moved back home and we ended up chatting about it all for an hour and a half. It was great to catch up and share about our similar experiences and feelings about being here. I got a call saying I was late to my own party so I headed out again and got to Orleans as quick as I could. It was another amazing night with friends and family, just hanging out, talking, laughing, telling stories and jokes, and spending quality time with quality people. I stayed up far too late and despite having plans to get up and be productive the next morning, I couldn't function so I had to sleep in.

I got up around 9:30 and got ready to go. Everyone else was gone so I sent a few messages out telling people that if they were free and wanted to swim, I'd be at my favorite watering hole. I got there at about 11:30 and for the first time in my life, I was there all alone. Not another soul came down there for two whole hours. I was able to completely relax, lay on the rock, swim, read and enjoy the solitude that is never present at this swimming hole. About 1:30, one of my friends arrived and we spent the rest of the day relaxing and chatting. People came and went, and we outlasted them all. I didn't want to leave but with an hour and a half drive back home, I eventually had to. I can't remember the last time I had such a completely relaxing day.

It was interesting talking with my friend at the river... I realized that pretty much my whole life (17 of my now 26 years) has been spent working towards a single goal. I have dedicated those 17 years to becoming a teacher so that I could come back down to the river and teach here. It took a lot of work but I have now achieved that goal. I am now a teacher working on the river. It is crazy! My dream has come true and I can feel it in every cell in my body. This place is my home and I have always felt that way. For time immemorial my ancestors have (generally) lived in this place and without it I have always had a piece of me missing. Now that I am here, that missing piece has been filled. The contentment and peace I feel being here is so rejuvenating and strengthening. I have never felt so whole. But, it was also brought to my attention that yes, I have achieved this goal that I have been working towards for so long, and now it is time to pursue a new goal. It is important to always be moving forward, not becoming stagnant or driftwood. I need a new dream to work for now.

My fantastic new addition to the classroom! I am unbelievably happy to have it and be able to incorporate music into teaching. So far, the kids love it.